WEAK QUESTION
Mid-August means school is close to starting if it hasn't already in most of the northern hemisphere.
When I think of school as a parent, I think of the often-asked weak question, "How was school today?"
Usually, the answer is some form of "Fine".
Let's change that this year. Let's think of powerful questions to ask the children in our lives (sons, daughters, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, cousins...).
I'll start with a few to try, and you can add your own. Please send your good ones to me along with stories of what happened when you asked.
[Adjust as needed to fit the child's age.]
What ideas does this spark in you?
CLOSED CHILDREN?
I recognize that the root problem is not the question. Children may refuse to discuss their day for any number of reasons.
I sent this post to some former participants in my coaching workshops, and one responded with the following:
"These are some good ideas. I have tried a few of these variants over the last couple of years, since I also noticed that "how was school today" never got a good answer!
But I can't say that any of my other questions were the secret sauce to getting your kids to open up either every time. Sometimes (actually most of the time) they just don't really want to talk about how school was and my creative questions about school didn't usually unlock the door. On occasion they'd open up, but rarely. Still, I keep on digging (with questions like these) and we occasionally see results!
I will use some of these examples you have given and see if they get me any better traction."
How does this fit with your experience?
Regardless, I think continued efforts to pursue the hearts of the children in our lives will eventually bear fruit. Let's make it clear that we want to hear. One way to do that is to continue to annoy them with our creative questions and activities.
CONTEXT
Don't be afraid to change up the location and situation in which you ask. If asking right after school, doesn't work, try at dinner. If that doesn't work, set up something special. Try asking as you tuck them into bed. Let's be creative and see what happens.
PRAYER
Lastly, but of course it should be firstly, let's pray for our kids to open up and share their hearts with us.
Please share in the comments what works for you.
